Knowing how to be happy is actually knowing what unhappiness is.
There are many reasons why one can be unhappy, but Bertrand Russel (a philosopher) and Sisyphus 55 (Youtuber) put unhappiness into perspective; creating digestible information. They encourage people to be aware that life can be easy, liveable and happy.
The 9 chapters of unhappiness:
Why the world thinks that “happiness is difficult to achieve”:
- Technology
- Social media
- Celebrity lives
- Society norms
- Expectations
- And other..
We can’t cure depression or anxiety, but we can look at what causes it and acknowledge it.
Chapter 1: Why are we unhappy? What causes it?
Unhappiness actually tends to come from the individual’s overly exerted personality that allows them to create the different types of unhappiness in their lives.
These characteristics tend to drive the mind towards a different direction, when faced with challenging circumstances at first, because of the psychological difficulty in coming terms with one’s flaws. In short, psychological compensation.
The 3 Characteristics:
- The Narcissist
- The Sinner
- The Megalomaniac
The Narcissist:
This is all about him/her. They want the whole world to notice what they want to show. They do this for the benefit of their ego and show their unreasonable importance. They want people to like them.
This mission of the whole world giving their attention won’t ever truly satisfy them or make them happy. They would feel empty inside, because real happiness comes from within.
The sinner:
This individual thinks that they will be satisfied by the indulgence of drinking, sex and other adult activities. The lack of motherly love – or more specifically – being told not to do certain things and feeling restricted causes this. They feel the need to sin because of the enforcement to avoid danger, where in fact the actual effect of the danger comes when it is used or done excessively.
This means they rebel and do all of the restricted activities. They still do not gain happiness from it. That’s all they’ve ever done and all they’ve ever known. Restrictions from childhood created the false idea of what will make them happy. Every time they do it, they feel guilt or shame.
The megalomaniac:
They have an undeniable urge to be powerful, the most powerful.
This characteristic makes people dissatisfied; because an individual will never completely feel as powerful as the last or the next. They always try to strive for the “best”.
Chapter 2: Byronic Happiness
Instead of trying to “be something” because you don’t believe that you have a purpose in life, try to not be something. Try not to remind yourself that you need to become something to meet the expectations of your surroundings.
Instead give yourself existence; become a barista, a labourer, a waiter, a bus driver, taxi driver or any others. Allow yourself to exist. These physical jobs will satisfy you, they will occupy all of your energy.
Chapter 3: The struggle for life? No, it should be the “The Struggle for Success.”
The main worry of life shouldn’t be matching the “success” of others, it should be putting food on your table to eat, surviving another day.
Competition is good in digestible amounts, but living to compete with each other and losing sight of why you are there can become dangerous.
It doesn’t matter how many followers you have, how many pieces of art you have done, how much you have accomplished. As long as you are satisfied with what you do and you feel happy, that is all that matters.
Strive for that ideal balanced life of being happy and “successful”. Create your own term of success, not the ideals that someone has implemented on you. Trust yourself on deciding the success that you want, because it could be anything: love, financial stability, a quiet life…
Chapter 4: Boredom and Excitement
In our time and era, we have unlimited entertainment. More than our ancestors could have dreamed of.. but that isn’t always as great as it sounds.
Look through the eyes of child; allow yourself to become excited about the little things in life.
But, don’t be afraid of being bored, because to paraphrase:
“Life isn’t meant to just be loud, but also quiet.”
That’s happiness.
Chapter 5: Fatigue. Modern tiredness.
In this day and age, the bustling of the cars and people, the loudness of the city and the societal norms that we are deafened by makes us the sheep of society. The expectations and fear of failure that other people look down on, as a result, is jumbled up in our heads. From day to sleep; creating anxiety in our lives.
Bertrand says that
“we must attack all these head on, attack all these worries of life head on. We must know that it is present, accept it and let it go.”
Chapter 6: ENVY.
In life, there will always be a person that we perceive as “better than you”, stronger, sexier, more money…
“One must transcend themselves and enlarge their heart to that of knowing and realising that envy, is just a “heroic pain”
Bertrand Russell, The conquest of happiness, 1930
Knowing ones worth is necessary and loving yourself too. This will make sure that you don’t lead to resentment, envy and jealousy.
Trust one and another, trust yourself, trust life and it’s processes. Don’t become blind of what you already have and be grateful for it. Be grateful for those gifts that you were born with and the new things you cultivated with.
“Emotions are simply something we experience, but we do not have to become them.”
Use those emotions to propel yourself in a different, more inspiring and beneficial direction.
Don’t allow your jealous thoughts to manifest.
Chapter 7: The Sense of Sin
Sin and evil is a perception. It is important to understand what “real” evil. It is the immorality of doing “sinful” actions; hurting people. It’s the actions that harm not only yourself, but the people around you.
Understand this. Only then, will you be freed from this “sad state”.
Chapter 8: Persecutions Mania
The fear of feeling judged, feeling that people want to hurt you, feeling that the world is against you. Stop. It is not true.
This restricts happiness and the responsibility that you have for yourself.
Chapter 9: Public Opinion
Everyone is afraid of people’s opinion and being judged, which is another cause that leads to unhappiness.
Strive to look for genuine happiness and not ones where you have to hurt others to get it, indirectly or directly.
Be that person that can loosen up and be happy in yourself, the things you have, the things you have achieved and be present/self-aware.
Don’t act on jealousy, envies and other emotions that can be harmful to people.
This is so that other when other people is also woke about this and does the same as you, the world can finally loosen up a bit.
Chapter 10: End-note.
Read this article and re-read it, take notes and try to understand certain points; relate these to your own lives.
Controlling your happiness from within is one of the biggest achievements anyone can do.
Happiness starts as small as a grain of rice, when multiplied it becomes delicious and fills up the stomach. You got this.