There are so many opinions flying around in society and on social media that are making people care too much about different aspects of life. Here is a list of things that, in my opinion, people should stop caring about.
People’s opinions – If they are close family and in your tight circle of friends (and I mean ride or die friends), then appreciate their opinion. However, if it is someone who you have met more than twice and you consider them a friend, do not let their opinion bother you. The thing I tell myself is if they are not in my ‘ride or die’ circle then I do not value their opinion, therefore I simply do not care. I will have respect for them and their opinion as every has the right to one, but I am not going to take it to heart and let it ruin my day. However, by going by this you also have to expect that people you are not close with may not value your opinion either.
Deadlines – When you actually stop associating your work with your deadline, you will find that you will get it done much quicker. Now, I am not saying that you should stop caring about your whole degree and hand it in whenever you want. What I am trying to say is do not let it stress you out, whenever the deadline pops up in your head and your heart rate increases, shut it out. You do not need that stress in your life and it is only going to stress you out. Like I have said, once you clear your mind and solely focus on the work in front of you, you will get it done way quicker. You could even apply this to comparing the amount of work you have done against the amount a coursemate has done. People work at different paces so if someone is ahead of you, it does not mean that they are better or smarter.
The way you dress – Fashion is a way that you can express yourself and show people what you are like without telling them. If someone has something nasty to say about your outfit, just brush them off. Most of the time, they may just be jealous that you can freely wear what you want and not care what others think. If you want to rock up to a lecture in an oversized top and baggy jeans, do it. Nothing and no one is stopping you but your own self-consciousness. Look in the mirror on your way out of your dorm room, give yourself a ‘sup’ nod and carry on with your day.
Your skin – There are many different skin types, tones and colours and all of them are beautiful. Do not worry about the tone of your skin, so many beauty companies do a variety of toners that match your skin tone. My skin tone is so pink that I get red so easily and if someone wants to be like: “OMG her face is so red,” then let them. Sympathise with them because they do not understand skin tones. If you suffer from a skin condition and it is visible, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. Stop looking at filtered people on Instagram, unfollow and block them if it helps, follow accounts that have similar conditions to you so it becomes a regular thing you see. If you feel discriminated against because of your skin colour, pity them because they have not come from a good family. Racism is caused by the way someone is brought up and the people they surround themselves with, so pity them. Do not take their discrimination to heart because you are beautiful. Every type of skin is amazing and you should not hide it.
That you do not exercise – The people who criticise those who do not exercise, are the type of people to live and breathe the ‘gym life’. Do you walk to university and back? Do you walk to the shops for food? What about carting all your luggage home? Small actions over the course of your day count as exercise. It is not all about spending two hours on the treadmill. Ask yourself this, do you have the free time in between university work, trying to maintain a social life and keeping yourself happy? No? Then you do not need to force yourself to go to the gym.
Your laugh – You cannot help what laugh you biologically have, it is not like you are given a catalogue to choose from. If it is loud, belt it out and show the people who have made you laugh that they make you happy. It makes me happy knowing I can make my friends laugh like that. It makes me even happier to see my friend’s happy face after they make me laugh like that. If you have a quiet laugh do not think, ‘I bet I look like a seal right now,’ I have friends who have a quiet laugh and I can see the smile on their face when they are laughing. If you are getting judging looks from those surrounding you when you are laughing, they are probably miserable at the thought that they are not having as much fun as you.
Your social media followers – This is an issue apparent among the younger generation. I do not know when this started but at some point in society, people began to be judged or ranked in the social hierarchy by how many followers they have. It is time that this is stopped and people need to stop labelling people as ‘unpopular’ or ‘lowering your standards’ to be friends with them. Jesus only had 12 disciples and look what he achieved; miracles. The amount of followers you have does not define who you are, how many friends you have or where you are ranked in a social hierarchy. Similarly, if you feel like you are judged for having too many followers, turn a blind eye and do you!
That you take medication – The main reason why people make comments about those who have to take medication is that they do not understand, they have not been through the life processes you have. Do not compare yourself to them and say that they make a ‘perfect life. More often than not, they too have something going on and their way to emit that frustration and sadness out is to make comments about another’s life. Instead of letting those comments cut deep, educate them and help them understand why you have to take the medication. Once they know the reason why they may stop. If people are not making comments, use breathing exercises, meditation and mindfulness to make those anxious thoughts that people may be judging you go away.
You do not have social media – Following on from the follower’s point, it really does not matter whether you have social media or not. I deleted my Twitter account because I came to terms with the fact that I can live my life without it. There are a lot of filters and fake accounts on social media which can make someone else feel low about themself. It is common sense to not believe everything you see on social media, people use it to pretend to be someone they are not; to make their life better. It is a fake life necessity and if it does bother you, think to yourself: “I am glad I am not glued to my phone for hours, I am happy I do not pressure myself into taking the perfect selfie.”
You do not have an iPhone – I remember my mum would always buy me a new Samsung phone every time my contract ended and I would like to myself, ‘why do I never get an iPhone?’. However, watching all my friends having to buy multiple iPhones when something goes wrong. Or coming to college with a new phone one day and then it is badly cracked the next made me realise that I am happy to have the phone I had. Having an expensive phone does not define your wealth. There are so many qualities that make other phones better than an iPhone. Some people buy iPhones just to fit in with the trend of having one. Do not be a sheep!
Music taste – If you want to listen to county music, you listen to it. If you want to listen to K-pop, do it. Music is a way you can define your personality and if someone casts judgement upon your music taste, then they may be judging the type of person you are. If it is a close friend who makes a comment about your music, turn it into a bit of banter and a joke so then it will lighten their judgement. If it is someone who you do not know or are not close with them, then do not value their opinion (see my first thing not to care about).
Living at home – There are derogatory jokes about people who still live at home with people saying it’s ‘immature’ or ‘you’re not an adult if you do’. There is nothing wrong with living at home, whether that is for financial reasons, study reasons or you simply want to spend time with your family. I know many people that still live at home; I still live at home and have done throughout my whole university journey. I have saved so much money from doing so, I can help my Mum around the house and with my younger siblings and I can cherish more time with my family. It has been a blessing to still be at home during all the lockdowns. So the next time someone tries to diss you for still living at home, hit them with all the facts.
Your accent or dialect – Now with the North and South divide in the UK, and when a lot of accents mix in university and student accommodation, comments and jokes about people’s accent or dialect can be thrown around. You cannot help the way you speak, your accent is developed in the place you live and the people you surround yourself with. Each accent is beautiful and I think that is one of the best things about the UK is the diversity in accents. Just like your music taste, your accent is a part of your identity and you should not change your identity for anyone. With your dialect, these are words and phrases that you pick up from your hometown, family and friends; it’s the words you use to speak. Now many people may share your accent but your dialect is what makes you unique as no one will speak exactly like you. There was a keyword in that sentence: unique. Your dialect makes you stand out among everyone else and that is so important.
That you are not a make-up professional – Boys and girls, let’s stop judging people for the way they do their make-up. Like your fashion sense, make-up is very expressive and a whole world of freedom comes with it. As long as you feel good with how you look, nothing else should matter. Once again I am going to turn this conversation to social media. A lot of make-up accounts edit their photos so their make-up looks amazing. If a winged eye-liner is not as straight as they want it to be, they can easily use Photoshop to sort it out. Do not let edits and filters define and set your beauty standards.
That you did not get a first at university – Whether you got a second or a third, you still passed! Not achieving the highest mark does not determine how clever you are. You may have been having a bad mental health day on the date of the test. You may have been having some family issues when writing an essay.
These are just some of the things that I could come up with. Now I am not saying that you should stop caring about everyone and everything in your life, just breathe and think ‘do I really need to care about that?’. Life has too much to offer for you to be worrying about everything. If you have any more and want to express your opinion, visit our Instagram @thestudentaspect