Imagine, a girl who has never taken responsibility of her own things. A girl who is extremely dependent on her mother and elder sister for every little thing. A girl who is from a completely different country, takes life in her hands and flew miles away from her family just to make something out of her life. To be successful and get that MSc degree from a well reputed university in a foreign country. How much courage does one need? Imagine the pandemic happens when you are in a foreign country and you have made only one or two friends before lockdown. You have to stay inside your room without any human interaction because all your flat mates have left for their homes.
Then, imagine during this hard time you keep having the relapse of your depression and anxiety for reasons unspeakable. Something that you took years getting over at, it only took a fleeting moment to trigger it again. It seems like you have everything, but in reality you break down into bouts of tears at night. Your hands go numb and your heart beats so fast that it feels like it will burst out of your chest. That constant throbbing headache that you have had for over months doesn’t let you smile or think straight and only goes away when you pop a pill.
Now, imagine you are that person whose mellow heart has always brought you heartaches. Heartaches from strangers and heartaches from lovers. Heartaches from the changing weather and changing hearts of those around you. You are the person who invests goodness into everything so much that at times, a bystander on an unfamiliar road looks so lonely to you. You can see the struggles life put him through in his face, and your heart aches for him. You keep thinking about it until you reach home and long after as well. Isn’t it tiring? Isn’t it absolutely exhausting to be carrying so much compassion in you for a world which is otherwise so cruel, even the cruelest amongst us?
Moreover, you are the person to whom happiness seems alien sometimes. Imagine you never realised how powerful it is to feel every little thing, every little moment and emotion around you until all those little things try to break you down and you have no one. You only have yourself to pick you back up on your feet. Imagine you are that person who has been given heartbreak after heartbreak, but you, you never run out of love.
Sorrow after sorrow- your heart still keeps on pumping the same fresh love loaded blood. So courageous. So brave. Because even though your walls have been invaded and tattered, you have given chances when infact you should’ve let it turn you cold, knowing that your healing will come. That giving away pieces of your heart laden, packed or shall I say stocked with compassion will never be able to empty your vessel. Never let this world harden you. Never let the bad change the best in you. Never let the rejections lessen your abilities to love and give. Keep throwing kindness around like confetti, that’s your super power. It makes you invincible, it does.
Most importantly, every now and then, divert that kindness and compassion that you have towards your own self. Rest. Reload. Hug someone. Hole onto the wholesome ones. Give yourself time. Talk Kindly to yourself. Hang in there, Someone will take care of your heart one day.